The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
