i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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