this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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