Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
