I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
