Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
