Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
