he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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