You work out of a Hotel?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
