that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.