Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..

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  (215): I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere.. http://tfl.nu/8h2a
  Replies (13) Good night (797) Bad night (1467)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying

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  (574): all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying http://tfl.nu/ymvi
  Replies (15) Good night (4745) Bad night (604)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.

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  (913): he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness. http://tfl.nu/hbrf
  Replies (10) Good night (1101) Bad night (4737)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me

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  (215): i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me http://tfl.nu/j6i2
  Replies (13) Good night (1444) Bad night (3930)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself

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  (201): I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself http://tfl.nu/d62r
  Replies (34) Good night (2163) Bad night (3714)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose

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  (619): Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose http://tfl.nu/7c4h
  Replies (5) Good night (3057) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  There's always time for handjobs

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  (573): There's always time for handjobs http://tfl.nu/m1ol
  Replies (13) Good night (2691) Bad night (735)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  AMAZING.

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  (917): hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye (908): AMAZING. http://tfl.nu/tp4d
  Replies (5) Good night (2262) Bad night (888)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.

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  (317): No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored. http://tfl.nu/emh2
  Replies (15) Good night (1697) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?

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  (412): I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood? http://tfl.nu/mv3m
  Replies (12) Good night (983) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.

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  (937): That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor. http://tfl.nu/5gnj
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (309)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?

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  (859): Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut? http://tfl.nu/nfyo
  Replies (13) Good night (741) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there

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  (413): omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there http://tfl.nu/wvl8
  Replies (0) Good night (587) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Are you proud of yourself?

  (407): View more from Florida

  ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.

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  (772): Are you proud of yourself? (407): ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off. http://tfl.nu/2m9x
  Replies (2) Good night (967) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.

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  (323): VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL. http://tfl.nu/sras
  Replies (1) Good night (268) Bad night (408)

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