Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.