I think i peed on brittanys purse
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
