you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.