What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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