so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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