I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
