Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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