I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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