A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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