I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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