fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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