My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
