I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
