I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Walk of Shame today included voting.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
