you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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