1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
