please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
