I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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