He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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