im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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