Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pants are for mortals
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
