Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
