Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just gift wrapped bread.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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