God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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