i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
