I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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