it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
