We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
