I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
