yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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