he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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