So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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