...so i touched it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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