this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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