Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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