saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
