My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
