Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
