I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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