Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
