She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
thus making me awesome and them whores
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
