can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
