singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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