I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
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I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize