omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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