woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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