your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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