My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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