you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize