I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Rumble strips road head = magical
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
