Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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