in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
