I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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